Dread Lord
by Tears of Valhalla
Summary: Young Harry learns the hard way to never trust gifts, especially those with magic. Hp/batman xover
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I absolutely am not seeing a large white were-rabbit drooling while threatening me to write this horrid disclaimer. Nope I don't see a thing nor do I own anything.  
Dread Lord  
Never make a deal with the devil.  
(Translation of Archaic/Ancient Tongue)  
(*Random fact/thought*)  
^You'll see. Maybe read. -Mal ^  
Prologue

"Disma naktal arubme?" (Now what do we have here?") Came a voice from behind, more beastlike than human. It sent 7 year old Harry Potter shivers down his spine.  
"Dak shhdakat, aragba... ta." (A child, Very... interesting) The voice said. Little Harry turned around and he didn't like what he saw, really he should've heeded the many warnings at the start of that freaking book.

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Young Harry was the happiest boy alive... well not really the happiest, but he was really happy. His teacher Miss Wagners gave him a gift for his 7th birthday. He never knew that Miss Wagners was such a brilliant person. He was given a book, it was old. Its oldness was the reason it was given to him, Miss Wagners said that it was property of her great grandfather and that it was collecting dust on their library thus the reason she gave it to him. In truth Miss Wagners didn't feel comfortable (*She was spooked by it*) with the book what better way to get rid of it than to give the book to the resident trouble maker?

You see Harry Potter's Guardians the Dursley's has already spread many a vile rumor about him, going as far as to fake evidence of his 'wrongdoing'. His reputation has spread to the community like wildfire then, and poor Harry didn't know why the people look at him that way. As it was the name Harry Potter was synonymous to pet killer or kleptomaniac, thus was the reason why Miss Wagners unknowingly gave The Devil's book of Malice to an unsuspecting Harry. If only he knew...

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Harry knew of course that should the Dursley's even catch a glimpse of his new (*not exactly new in a sense*) book they'd go bloody nuts! "And I still have to prepare dinner" 'sigh' and so he did...that was after tucking the book under his worn out bed.  
Dinner was always a small feast in the Dursley household, with two voracious eaters like Vernon and Dudley. It was a wonder they don't go poor. As always there was but a meager portion for little Harry. (*2 potatoes and a glass of water*) After washing the dishes, Harry went straight to the cupboard he calls his bedroom. Quickly he grabbed the book and thoroughly examined. The book was thick and outlined with very old leather, it had minimalist design other than the title which was engraved The Book of Malice in old medieval fonts in pure crimson. Harry carefully opened the book to its first page.

'This book holds a bounty of knowledge,  
Of power and carnage,  
Thus this be the warning,  
This book is damning,  
This book of malice,  
Created by Taurus master of vice,  
A part of three,  
Gather the other two,  
For that is the only thing you can do,  
Only then will you be free'

Came in an almost ominous whisper from Harry's lips, not deterred he read more.

'By reading this rhyme,  
You are purged of all things divine,  
You are bound till you collect all three  
As it is stated, so mote it be'

Harry was shocked beyond belief when the letters blurred and joined to form an intricate spiral. He almost didn't notice the gaping wound in his right hand or his blood which was following the intricate spiral pattern .The spiral once again changed when the pattern was well covered with his blood. DEAL MADE was written in large glistening letters, which was the last that Harry saw before fainting.

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"Nangit serub tak!"(This is impossible!) Doki said while watching the devil himself plant a Domiro blade (Blade enchanted to amplify pain a hundredfold, forged in Hellfire cooled with blood) on the child's calf, this wasn't entirely new to him but the age was unusual. Normally men who are drawn by the books are older than twelve, no it wasn't the age that shocked him it was the fact that no amount of pain that the Warikk(Master) did to him he never did scream. That was testament to the child's willpower; lesser men succumbed to pain within minutes of the devil's torture. But this, Doki would have believed this wasn't possible if he didn't see it with his own six eyes. The child hasn't screamed once in twenty hours of pure torture from the devil himself! This child gained Dokimaka Arune Sigfir Asmuse the warden of hell's respect.

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With one final stroke of his scythe the devil embedded his blade deep on Harry's left lung. (I admire you youngling, such willpower is notable.) He said as he watched the wound slowly knit and regenerate. Harry shakily stood up dried tears notable on his face; He knew that the torture was over. The devil explained to him what had happened, the book he held was The Book of Malice has trapped him in a deal with the devil himself the terms were simple. Every three years he was to be tortured by the Devil for twenty-four hours until he collected the other two books, in turn he was gifted by instruction from the book and the title of Dread lord of Malice and the gifts that came with it. As it was, the devil was impressed by him and gave him a few gifts aside from what he received from the deal. With a simple tap on his forehead and the Devil sent little Harry to the realm of sleep.  
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Albus Dumbledore was in a predicament, a siren started to scream a few morally challenged and disdainful words-as he called it. Now if he only remembered what this particular gadget referred to. Hmmmm. He quickly tapped the brick with his wand to his right in a quick yet precise manner, the brick suddenly warped in a drawer. He quickly inspected the content with a few detecting spells, "hmmm," He said as he stroked his beard "My lemon drop supply is clean and plentiful. This must not be the problem." at that all the other devices flared to life screaming, ringing and beeping for his attention. "The wards!" He quickly opened his floo connection with a sprinkle of powder and shouted "Figg House".

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Albus couldn't shake off the sense of dread that came with walking down the tiled sidewalk of privet drive. 'Just like I did seven years ago' he thought morbidly. The House was burned to the ground nothing can be identified. Even with magic, that worried Albus the most. Could it be that Dark Wizards have somehow gotten the location of Harry; if they did they had to be exceptionally skilled to bypass all the protection the wards provide. "This bears careful investigation." He said quietly as he watched the aurors come in droves under his invisibility charm. The magic the wards gave off as it crashed attracted them like flame does a moth. He sighed maybe Harry wasn't the chosen one; he gave off another long sigh. He seemed to be doing it a lot lately; this is going to be a long week he thought. Merlin, he hated Tuesdays.  
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Boy-Who-Was-Burned

By Rita Skeeter(*?*)  
Yesterday, the famous Boy-Who-lived (see page 3 for history of Harry Potter) perished in what appears to be a fire....

That was all Minerva McGonagall was willing to read before she slammed the newspaper on Dumbledore's table. "How could this happen, Albus? I thought that there were wards? How could a simple fire destroys your wards?!" shouted the hysterical Professor. "That is what's bothering me Minerva; it seems to me that this is a work of an extremely skilled Dark Arts practitioner. A death eater no doubt trying to avenge the fall of he-who-must-not-be-named, how I do not know. I am as befuddled as you are." He guessed right as always, this is going to be a long week.  
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'They are of Godlike might,  
Strongest evil to befall thy sight.  
Even on brightest day, especially of the blackest night.  
Never give them slight.'  
-Saro van Taris* demon hunter/demonology expert (1766)  
-Book of demons, monsters and Dangerous magical creatures  
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When Harry awoke from his slumber he noticed that he was not on his flimsy bed on Privet Drive, for he was sleeping on what seemed like a bench. Another thing he noticed was the sound of cars and buses (*lorry*), "I probably am in a park." He concluded with a giggle. He seemed to notice his giggling 'Torture messes the mind I suppose, I should have read that precautionary warning irrational of me...' He froze as he noticed the play of words in his mind before going in another fit of giggles. The people seemed to notice him giggling to himself as some stared at him oddly, Of course Harry didn't mind it or care about it either. "It seems the devil had done something to me, now if I figure the clues..." His thoughts froze again for a second before he was struck with an epiphany. "It seems... It seems that the devil accelerated my thinking capacity. Hmmm, interesting."  
That was when a blond teenager, approached him while fiddling with her glasses. She asked Harry with a concerned look on her face "Are okay kid? You look lost?" Somehow her statement made Harry snicker; only managing to control his laughter. "There's obviously bloody wrong with the kid, Mitch. Ow! Bloody Hell, not the face!" With that Harry couldn't contain his mirth any longer, he guffawed and giggled for almost a minute. After gaining control of himself again he asked to the newly named 'Mitch' in the most childish and innocent manner he can. "Can you tell me where I am now lady?" "Oh, were in downtown London Kid." "What's your name, Can't go calling you kid like my brother does?" "I don't have a name." Mitch stared at him oddly. "This kid's such a joker." Mitch's brother said. "Hey, Hey! I think I like that. Joker, Has a nice ring to it." "Come on, were gonna be late for class. Say bye-bye to the crazy kid." "Oh, okay. Bye kid. Take care." Harry/ Joker just rolled his eyes as they parted ways.

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Harry was whistling a nice tune a he walked on the pave way; it seems that people unconsciously made a wide berth for him to walk on. "La-la-la-la la-la-la-la La-la-la-la la-la-la-la" He sang quite boldly whilst the people ignored him or looked at him like he was crazy. 'What a bad day this is... hmmm... Maybe I should eat pie; I think I'd like pie. I never tasted it before.' Harry was interrupted from his thought as he was sent barreling towards the ground by a rushing student. "Sorry 'bout that mate, gonna be late for class." The guy gave an apologetic look then rushed of again. With the slight jingling of coins that was heard on his overly large trouser pockets Harry's interest was peaked, He decided to investigate. Using his left hand to probe his pocket he thought 'gum wrapper, candy wrapper, weird coin pouch, dead millipede and another candy wrapper. Nothing out of the ordinary' His eyes widened a bit "Oh, what was that again" He said as he pulled out a coin pouch. It was made of fine black pelt with a small printed 666 on it, when Harry took out a coin he gasped. It may be the fact that the coin was golden or that the small printed 666 suddenly became 665, we would never know.

After awhile of walking and direction asking he finally reached little whinging where he learned that Privet drive had burned along with its four inhabitants, Pity. It seems that the people didn't recognize him with longer hair that had a slightly green tint to it, Idiots. Well I could always use the money, he thought as he was fingering the magical money pouch he discovered.

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Harry rented a cheap motel for the night; from the money he gained by exchanging some of the coins he found.

(*Flash Back*)

"Where did you find this kid" the middle age man said, looking at the coin then looking suspiciously at the kid. "My parents said that I could exchange them here" Harry tried to look as innocent as he can, complete with puppy dog eyes and a cute pout. The man seemingly relaxed and muttered to himself "Don't see many wizards this deep on the muggle world must be muggleborn then or possibly squib branch of the family." Of course Harry heard that, 'Jackpot' he thought "Maybe I can find answers'. He inquired further "Mister, could you tell me how much that is? I have a few more of that." Harry said whilst taking a few coins from the coin pouch, which seemed to accommodate half his hand yet no bulges or the like appeared. The Man seemed to relax further in seeing the magical pouch, all reservations released he spoke freely "Standard rate of galleon to pound seems to be crashing, kid. Dunno 'bout it but I ain't gonna bore you further. Its 98 .68pounds per Galleon kid"

Harry squeezed a few worthy information from the guy, It seems that the guy thought Harry was a wizard or a squib (* basically Wizard with no magic from what he gathered *). He also learned the existence of the wizarding world of Britain currently located at the back of a pub. And a few other secrets for another time, you'd be surprised how loose mouthed some people are around children. 'Maybe it was the fact that the guy thought I knew what he was talking about that made it easier? Ah, Who was he kidding it was his natural charm that did it'  
(*End Flashback*)

Harry decided to read the book that he received  
-=*=-Book of Malice-=*=-written in nice elegant strokes, Harry didn't pay much attention to it. What caught his attention was the picture of a face, ashen and old that had long white hair on the top right of the page. The face began to move, shaking his head as though to improve his attention. "I am the personification of the book of malice" it began, in a jovial tune "I must say I'm quite excited, you're the third person to be privileged to learn from me. I seem to be quite unpopular to the wielders of Demon arts; honestly the book of Sin has had twenty one users since the last millennia. Pity though, the dread lords of Hatred seems to not live more than a century and a half I'd say..." Harry interrupted the ranting book with a cough then a giggle "Oh, sorry there Master Harry I was overcome by my zealousness. My apologies" Harry frowned at this "I'm not Harry Potter anymore, I don't like that name. You see, Call me Joker." A small flash emanated from him as he finished the sentence "Just now, you denounced your name Master Joker. Your magic reacted to your will, as a dread lord your magic is more potent than that of a mortals. You will need a new name Master. I'd suggest an overly long name, Helps in avoiding pesky summonings. We'd discuss that much later Master." "Speaking of names, can I call you mal, don't have anything to call you. I don't see your point on an overly long name but it'd be fun. So what would I need to do?" Harry said with a maniacal gleam in his eyes.

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*Three Hours Later*  
"I command my magic,  
Change thy name to what I will it be.  
(The Joker of Hell) in demon tongue,  
Joe Kerr son of Circe and Eris in mortal speech.  
So Mote it be."

With a swirl of magic that lasted for seconds the naming was done. You see, with the speech he gave he permanently changed his name. If he didn't, the change would be temporary and ultimately useless. One of the things he learned though was the name of his predecessors, both women and very much famous in both mundane and magical worlds. He also learned that the book of malice was based on chaos and disorder, preferring the use of raw magic than anything else. Of course there are the art of changing, which Circe was famous of. And there was the use of the unnatural forces that made Eris Goddess of chaos and disorder. He also learned that Mal was going to teach him predominantly of the art of battle, to help him secure the two books he would be searching for.  
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+_+Preview for next chapter...O_o  
*Roughly three years later*  
On a damp and disheveled room, an equally disheveled pale man was unconscious on the floor. "Wakey wakey Mister Coleman, It's nighttime already." "M-Mister Joker, N-N-nic-ce t-to meet y-you here." "You seem tense Mister Coleman, Is there something wrong with my hair?" Harry asked pointing to his hair, Messy and long black hair with large amounts of green in it. Mister Coleman flinched he heard stories, horror stories on what happened to people who insulted the Joker's hair. Needless to say all of them regretted it, no casualties though. There are things worse than death a wise man once said, this seem to apply to them. "Mister Coleman you seem to be exceptionally reserved today, what's got your head in a twist" Harry said while an amused grin crept on his pale face "N-Noth-hing M-Mister Joker, w-W-what is t-the purpose of your visit. S-sir?" "Information Mister Coleman had you found any trace of what I seek?" "n-None a-as o-f this m-moment s-s-sir." Mister Coleman said with a tremble. He awaited his certain doom when suddenly Joker extended his hand as if asking him to shake it. When he did a thousand bolts of black lightning rushed through Mister Coleman's body. Harry watched as Mister Coleman's body slumped to floor, he wasn't totally dead per se. It wasn't lethal to vamps "Always liked werewolves and veelas better." He muttered under his breath as he disappeared on thin air bit by bit...

Read and review people....  
In dire need of a beta...


	2. Dame Names

A/N: I've been hospitalized for a few days, sorry if I've been late on the update.

So far I'd say I really need help in this story, so do give the help needed. I need a beta too. I think I'm not satisfied with this chapter but that's just me. Tell me what you think. Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Why so serious? Let me put a smile to your face…

Joker: Hey, that's my line.

Dread Lord

(Translation of Archaic/Ancient Tongue)

(*Random fact/thought*)

^You'll see. Maybe read. -Mal ^

'thinking'

Dames and Harlequins, Names and robberies…

*roughly three years later*

On a damp and disheveled room, an equally disheveled pale man was unconscious on the floor.

"Wakey wakey Mister Coleman, It's nighttime already." The scruffy pale man quickly opened his eyes only to spot a man that was quickly becoming the subject of many of the more frightening rumors in the rumor mill [1]. He stood to be about five feet, not that intimidating in his bright purple business suit

"M-Mister Joker, N-N-nic-ce t-to meet y-you here."

"You seem tense Mister Coleman, Is there something wrong with my hair?"

Harry asked pointing to his hair, Messy and long black hair with large amounts of green in it. Mister Coleman flinched he heard stories, horror stories on what happened to people who insulted the Joker's hair. Needless to say all of them regretted it, no casualties though. There are things worse than death a wise man once said, this seem to apply to them.

"Mister Coleman you seem to be exceptionally reserved today, what's got your head in a twist" Harry said while an amused grin crept on his pale face.

"N-Noth-thing M-Mister Joker, w-W-what is t-the purpose of your visit. S-sir?"

"Information Mister Coleman had you found any trace of what I seek?"

"n-None a-as o-f this m-moment s-s-sir."

Mister Coleman said with a tremble. He awaited his certain doom when suddenly Joker extended his hand as if asking him to shake it. When he did a thousand bolts of black lightning rushed through Mister Coleman's body. Harry watched as Mister Coleman's body slumped to floor, he wasn't totally dead per se. It wasn't lethal to vamps, not too lethal anyways.

"Always liked werewolves and veelas better." He muttered under his breath as he disappeared on thin air bit by bit…

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Harry reappeared in his suite staggering clearly exhausted from today's intimidation tactics. The room was in one word extravagant. Harry made full use of the money acquired from the devil, He also did get help from a local bank or two but I digress.

"^Not one of your contacts has a clue to the whereabouts of the other books. Somehow I doubt the ingenuity of your information network master Joker…^"

"Oh, aren't you positive today Mal?"

"^ These mortals has no use Master, why keep them alive or unleashed? They are more loyal if you make them your servants ^" Mal never did consider vampires and other assorted creatures "immortal", he says 'If it's easy to kill its mortal…"

"Don't be like that Mal, besides 'mortals' as you call them may have a use in the distant future. Besides their not the type of servants I look for."

"^ You're better of with that Association of Dark Thingamajigs or something like that…^" Harry snorted at that.

"Its called D. a. m. e the Dark Association of the Master's of Eternity."

"^ Or it could be Dicks animated by Magic entirely, something like that. At least it's headed by Immortal's… to some degree^" Mal trailed off at the end.

"Tomorrow, we have a party to crash. My sources say that there's a meeting in Africa."

"^At least the flesh bags have something of use to give… ^"

Paying no attention to Mal's rant on mortal help and on how Circe made short work of them once upon a time, Harry took his book of alchemy and potions from the bookshelf. He was on his way to making his pet project on the go.

'And what a project it is' he thought with a full blown grin.

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("The next Day")

"Welcome Dark Lords and Lady to the annual meeting of Dame."

They were all seated on Customized seats each personally conjured, around a large round table. There were seven of them, all with two bodyguards at their backs.

Their spokesman began listing their names

"Lord San of Claus of Antarctica" a large hefty man in red known as San of Claus... He was known as the man who conquered the North Pole (*Magical world of Antarctica*) with gifts. Years of cultivating his reputation has done wonders to his legends, now one of the most known and worshipped Dark Lords of time known to muggles as Santa Claus. He also was the leader of the group since the last one was murdered by a group of self-proclaimed heroes looking for fame and glory (*Needless to say San initiated their demise. San included their friends, families and pets too. Nice guy huh.*)

"Lord Osiris of Egypt" Also known as one of the early Gods of Egypt, Osiris joined Dame when most of his brethren died from the "Great Purge of Immortals". He wore royalty garb of the Egyptians and is covered in white linen carved with rune, one of the more intimidating member of the group. Osiris gave a short nod as his name was called.

"Lady Sheaina(She-a-i-na) of Australia" Was the dark Lady of 1790's rumored to be dead, clearly the rumors are just that, rumors. The beautiful woman idly traced the markings on her face as her name was called.

"Lord Shino of Japan" Leader of the famed Demon bandits, Shino was once betrayed by his group. Accomplished in Shintoan magic because of the scrolls he had stolen, He was fairly new to the group.

"Lord Ashurbanipal of Assyria" The Last great king of Assyria, dressed in royal garb simply slumped on his chair as he was called.

"Lord Faust of Germany" from the legendary Faust Family, this Faust was the 6th generation of Faust. Lord Faust simply adjusted his glasses as the name calling came to an end.

"Lord San-kail-a of Africa" San-kail-a was the host of the meeting, outcast of his tribe, he learned magic from the darkest pits of Africa herself. An Accomplished shaman in both Voodoo and necro magic.

"Welcome Friends and allies, to another meeting." San of Claus said in a merry voice as he started the meeting.

"Quit the formality "sweet whispers" or should I say Santa?" Lady Sheaina said casually, as she traced the markings on her face not bothering to look at San. Sweet whispers being the groups nickname to San, Because of the fact that the gifts he gave to children where charmed with the base spell for the imperious curse. It gave the Children sweet whispers of love, glory and happiness should they follow the large man. Needless to say the Immortal man became a running gag for D.A.M.E.

"What is the purpose of this meeting?" the screechy voice of Osiris as the magic translated his words was heard.

"Friend Osiris, surely you know." Came the equally screechy voice of the Assyrian king

"Yes, yes surely you know why you are all here." An unfamiliar voice filled the air, followed by insane cackles of laughter.

All the Bodyguards immediately readied themselves for possible combat, while the Dark Lords and Lady didn't even move as the Joker in his normal attire appeared out of thin air. They all knew what his purpose are.

Lord San-kail-a stomped his staff on the ground. A shot of red light sped to Harry but with a wave of the hand a bluish shield which stretched and bulged as the spell hit the shield. Then with another wave of the hand the spell shot back and hits one of the Lord San-kail-a's bodyguards. With a scream of pain the bodyguard was turned inside out.

'That took a lot outta me.' Harry thought but showed no stagger.

"Nasty nasty San-kail-a, better luck next time though." Harry said with a chuckle.

Lord San-kail-a grinned toothily.

When Lord San-kail-a stomped his staff again Harry was ready for another attack. But not to what happened next. A millipede came out of one of the holes of the staff and crept to the dead man's head and burrowed in it. Within a second the man's body started to reform intestines joining back, blood jumping from the floor back to the wasted body and ultimately skin fusing back till there was no more a scratch in the body. Lord San-kail-a then hit the dead man's head with the staff. The bodyguard quickly gasped for breath. And with another hit the man was standing again like there was nothing that happened.

"Now that's what I call creepy." Harry chuckled mirthfully.

Lord San-kail-a replied with a raspy voice not from his mouth but from the rapidly forming mouth made of beetles and millipede that was on the table. 'Damn, that's scarier than the last time.' Harry imagined the skull directly from a dead person come to your face and talk with rotating eyeballs too.

'^See that, that's what I've been drilling in your head lately…^" came Mal's voice on his head.

"Yeah, yeah. The importance of intimidation. Fear as a weapon, Anger as a distraction and shame for humiliation, basic use of emotions in battle and life." Harry droned in his mind as he listened to the talking bug mouth.

"Young Dread lord what be you reason to interrupt da meeting, mon" in a strangely Jamaican accent.

"Eh, I'm here for the information you promised a long ago, and a bit of information." Harry said as he took something in his pocket.

"I not expecting you now, but a promise is a promise. The goods be in the hut outside. Now what information do you seek, mon?"

"Whereabouts of a certain artrifact, then a few of this a few of that and I'd be bursting in happines." Harry said gleefully as he hurled a piece of paper to Lord San-kail-a, who simply raised an eyebrow.

"I'd be jammed, this be pricey little dread lord." Harry just sighed and threw a small box on the table and said.

"I'd ask about the accent but I think you just like to toy wit my head eh? The payment's shrinked there." Lord San-kail-a just snapped his fingers and one of the bodyguards went to get what was asked.

When Lord San-kail-a tried to lift the box to find that he couldn't he gave a questioning glance to the Joker only to receive laughter.

"Why Lord San-kail-a do you … need a hand?" As he said so he cut his hand with a knife that suddenly appeared on his left hand. He then threw the amputated arm on the table, watched amusedly as the arm walked using the pointing finger and middle to help carry the box.

When that was done Harry gave an armless salute and walked off to the hut outside.

"Your hand is quite tasty, mon" Harry spared a look as the African happily feasted on his old arm. 'Can't have the last word on this guy.' He looked at his regenerating hand and sighed.

"Truly disgusting, you people are. Now about the attack on the Australian ministry and with those funds…"

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Harry rubbed his hands in glee as a malicious glint on his eyes surfaced. His plans will certainly benefit from these gains. He checked his inventory mentally; African forest trolls heartstrings, Shadow cat paws, Imp heads and the like. Now, if that Nargle would just stop rattling its cage it would be better, this was one lethal bugger. "Hey, that's my new hand!"

Oh, he could never get everything he wants, not yet anyway.

"Now to get a new follower."

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{Flash back}

Harry was walking inside one of the pet shops in Diagon alley; He was actually scouting for potential familiars, pets and what not. He was quickly disappointed though, not one remotely dangerous critter was locatable, and the most he could get that was any fun was a magical owl who snaps at anyone who even looks at it. Might as well buy the psychotic owl, has the potential to be funny.

What caught his eye the most was the two blonds talking nonsense and rather animatedly at that.

"Sorry, carrot but the last time you bought a toad you skinned it and made it a wallet not only that you also dumped it at the hazardous chemical waste bin at the back yard where it returned to life swearing its revenge to you while wearing a pink tutu." The older blond a male, probably the father said the words as if scolding the younger female lightly, not even perturbed at what he said.

"Oh phooey, how was I supposed to know that it will be angry at me if I took of his skin? I did ask for permission if I could play with his skin daddy, besides I even gave him that tutu so he wouldn't be embarrassed too much. And I thought the hazardous chemical waste bin at the back yard was the bathtub. Could we pretty please buy that one daddy?" The younger female whined while she pointed at Harry.

"Oh I don't know Luna; He seems a bit skinny for a frog." The father said skeptically as he examined Harry closely sometimes pinching his cheeks. Because Harry was amused by this two, he waited patiently as to see where this will conclude.

"I'm not for sale mister." Harry said getting the desired effect, the man jumped in shock as he said.

"My, my, a talking frog, maybe this is one of those top secret information the ministry hides!"

"I too, am not a frog, mister" Harry said, annoyed at the man yet still amused.

"Oh, for a minute there I thought you were a frog, my apologies. Mister-I'm-not-a-frog. My name is Xenophilius Lovegood and this is Luna. "

"Oh well better not beat around the bush, Mister I'd like you two to be my followers, now there's a customary wish that I am to grant before I take your souls and effectively bind yourselves to me. Now what are your wishes?" Harry said almost business like,

"^Surely a crude manner like that would, I don't know… scare them, Master. There's a thing called subtlety, maybe you should learn it. ^' came the snide remark from Mal.

"Oh Daddy, look he offered as wishes like you said those bent water gargals you always tell me. It's so exciting; I'd like to see a real life nargle Mister-I'm-not-a-frog."

"I don't know… Mister-I'm-not-a-frog I think I'll pass. But Luna already gave her wish so I'll give my consent for her to follow you if you show her a nargle. You seem to be a nice lad anyway" Mr. Lovegood said absentmindedly.

{End Flash back}

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{Lovegood Home}

"Look Daddy, The weird mister we saw not too long ago… is here! With a real life Nargle! Does that mean I can be his follower daddy?" Luna pleaded excitedly to her father.

Mr. Lovegood sighed, 'Uh , they seem to get younger and younger. Weirder too, Why in his days lads just give a flower or treat and hope to not get slapped in the face. Now they go give wishes and what not. To be young again."

"Okay Radish, You could follow him, be careful of the heliopaths though they eat your socks." He said as he read once more in peace.

"Hear that pudding! I could follow you!" Luna ecstatically glomped Harry.

"Thanks Mr. Lovegood see you next time." He said as they vanished back to the suite.

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Luna stood straight dressed in military garb stoically saluting the circling Harry wearing general's uniform.

"All right lady, I am general Joker. And you are now my soldier understand?"

"Sir, yes, sir"

"I am your commander, understand?"

"No, sir"

"What?!"

"I thought you were the general, eh, pudding sir." Harry sighed exhaustedly this was a tough nut to crack. 'Maybe I should go with the subtlety Mal's preaching about'

…

…

…

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"You're my follower now, I should know more about you."

"If you say so Mister Joker puddin' sir." She said in a chipper voice as she petted the content nargle on her lap.

"Don't call me that."

"What will I call you then?" Her blue eye's widened innocently as she asked her question.

"Suggest something"

"Love? "

"No."

"Homicidal clown?"

"No. That's too long."

"Err, Mister Clown?"

"No."

"Oh, I know Draco Malfoy."

"Nah, sounds gayish."

"I dunno, mistah gay seems nice."

"Oh, what was that it had a nice ring to it."

"Gay?"

"Not that, Mister J."

"Mister J? "

"Yes exactly."

"Okay, puddin'. I'd call you mistah Jay from now on…" Harry grinned, 'progressing nicely now.'

"Now I have to know what *I* have to call you, you see You're currently my most loyal follower…"

"Where are the others Mistah J? How many followers do you have puddin' "

"Well barring you, I have your nargle which bit my hand, then there's mal. Eh, don't mind him. He's a grumpy book."

"^Hey, you'd be grumpy too if you haven't seen action for centuries! ^"

"As you may see I'm a clown.' Harry said gesturing to himself.

"And you'd be my Harlequin. Okay" He said as he permanently conjured a jester's hat, and placed it on Luna's head. With a few words, Luna Lovegood was renamed Harley Quinn Follower of Dread Lord Joker.

"I digress I'd like to continue the Q & A portion but I'm bored, so I'll assign you a mission instead. Oh wipe that look; it's going to be easy with that… thing by your side."

"You see I need money for my daily spa, and you my little Harley will go to the little bank and take some for me, simple huh." He said as he gestured Her out of the suite.

'Phew… that was a long winded conversation huh, Mal."

"^Hey, I'm not idiotic enough to get insane followers, unlike you. ^"

"She's not insane, she's just eccentric." He said a matter of factly with a prim voice. Suddenly there was police siren's going off. Harry look at the window to see Luna with a painted face not unlike his running with a large sack of money whilst her little monster goes on a rampage on the police cars.

"She works fast." He punctuated that with a whistle.

"^That's eccentric? I'd hate to see what you call mad… ^"

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…))(())((…Preview…))(())((…

***The next day***

"Let's see. Newspaper, hate mail, spam mail, hate mail, love letter from Harley, Electric bill, nude pictures, fan mail, Oh would you look at that my very own Hogwarts letter how… quaint. But not needed." He said as he tucked it on his Jacket if he ever needed to reconsider.

A/n: I would have added more on the preview but it'll ruin the surprise, If there was any. R&R people… Oh and I've fixed the bug on chapter 1 too…

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The Book of Malice

One of the trio of books called the Devil's notes, Created by Three of The best know users of black Magic.

This book specializes on the use of large amounts of power whether chaotic or controlled. Something akin to using brute force, a large yet mostly unknown weakness to the Dread Lords of Malice is bouts of tiredness when spell casting because of the spectacular drain of most of the spells.

It is also noted that the art of Conjuration and Change (Transfiguration) was created by one of its Users. It also grants the user unmatched healing and superb body control (not unlike that of a metamorphic Human).

It is noted that followers are given a boost on power and on their Conjuration and Change (Transfiguration) skills

Current User: The Joker of Hell/Harry James Potter

Example of spells taught.

Black Lightning Level E

Strong Discharge of demonic lightning capable of stunning most. Uses the Opponents own magical core to feed the lightning as such it cannot kill, because when the opponent is unconscious(or If person has good control) the core can easily reject the foreign magic. It does not affect non-magical creatures. Only works by skin contact.


End file.
